Why Do Men Buy Sex?

In a recent interview, a sex worker from Kolkata requested men to visit them instead of indulging in the barbaric act of raping and assaulting others which resulted in one among the countless horrific examples of daily torture faced by the women in this country. What is it about male lust that drives them to commit inhuman atrocities towards women? Is it the hunger for sex or a motive to establish their superiority over women? Does the issue get solved when they visit a brothel instead? Why are only men the sole buyers of sex from both men and women? We explore the question more in the article.

In Mira Nair’s, Salam Bombay! a tender teenage girl of sixteen Sola Saal is brought forcefully to a brothel where she is revered for her fair complexion and her virginity making her an “Expensive Commodity” in their business. The story also follows Rekha of the same brothel, a woman in her 30s who is already in huge demand by Bombay’s rich, respected men and gets invited to offer her services in their big bungalows. Whether a girl is an ingénue and has been forced into prostitution or someone mature who has come to make the most out of this “forbidden work”, a lot of research has only been done on the psyche and conditions of the apparent “sellers”, meanwhile the “buyers” get overlooked when it is largely men who purchase sex whose money makes prostitution generate an annual revenue of $100 billion worldwide.

Buying sex can be expensive and men can face heavy repercussions from social stigma and marital problems to sexually transmitted diseases and legal consequences. So, what kind of men do pay for sex? Overall, an estimated 16 % of men pay for sex in the U.S., according to a 2005 report by social work professor, Sven-Axel Månsson of Malmö University in Sweden. 14 % of Dutch men have bought sex as compared with nearly 40 % of men in Spain. A study in Thailand suggested a humongous 95 % of men have slept with a prostitute. While the common norm is to think of these men as pathological, it is impossible to categorise such a large section of society as “not normal”. Therefore, most of the buyers of sex are sons, husbands, and respectable, contributing members of society.

Shively et al. (2012) identified the following five reasons for men to buy sex – seeking intimacy, seeking sex without intimacy, seeking variety, thrill-seeking, and pathology. A chunk of these men or “johns” deprived of intimacy from women because of their shyness or general lack of appeal find their quick fix of receiving female warmth and approval by visiting prostitutes, which is also one of the reasons most of them prefer to visit the same women, they have become familiar with over time. It also saves them the time of building an actual meaningful connection with a consensual partner where they are also always at a risk of not always having their physical needs to be accepted. But they can always expect a sex worker to listen to their rants or rub their backs, however unreal it may be, in exchange for payment. Nicole Emma, a sex worker for more than twenty years, in her Ted talk – What a sex worker can teach us about human connection says “Just as you’d hire a mental health professional, I’m a sexual health professional. But it’s not about the sex – it’s about intimacy and connection.”

However, Melissa Farley, a clinical psychologist and anti-prostitution activist known for her studies on the effects of prostitution, trafficking, and sexual violence along with Neil Mamuth, a UCLA professor, in their 2015 research on men who buy sex and men who don’t found men who buy sex share certain key characteristics with men who are at risk of committing sexual aggression. “We hope this research will lead to the rejection of a myth that sex buyers are simply sexually frustrated nice guys”, Farley says. A large chunk of these men also partake in this transaction to satisfy their misogynistic tendencies and refer to having sex with prostitutes as “going to McDonald’s” or disposing of a coffee cup after they are finished drinking from it. Mansson opines “A prostitute’s bed represents the last bastion of antifeminism. Only there can men reestablish the traditional dominance over women.”

Safe to say, a tiny percentage of women who get themselves into this profession are out of will. Trafficking, poverty, drug usage, and fear of violence from pimps are among the innumerable factors that push women into the Sex Trade. Therefore, women are not the real drivers of this business but the men who invest their money, time, and privacy in moving it constantly. A shift from studying the supply to targeting the demand (purchasers of sex) may provide a more nuanced understanding of prostitution and its major contribution to this cycle of exploitation of women.

 Ayesha Alim is a student pursuing Psychology Honours from Jamia Millia Islamia.

Edited by: Sana Faiz 

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of The Jamia Review or its members.